


Depths

by SoDoRoses (FairyChess)



Series: LAOFT Extras [98]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, lactose intolerant ice cream lover RIGHTS, like 2 sex jokes, remy "i have NO clue but were gonna fucking find it", roman "what is emotional vulnerability"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyChess/pseuds/SoDoRoses
Summary: “A friend should bear his friend’s infirmities.”-William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
Relationships: Background LAMP, Background Remile - Relationship, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, It's Complicated, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Past abusive Princeit, past referenced sorta-romantic creativisleep
Series: LAOFT Extras [98]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1365505
Comments: 52
Kudos: 544





	Depths

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt:
> 
> "remy makes a dumb joke about being the only person roman’s ever kissed except the Husband Squad, and roman winds up telling him about dee" (from [@centrumlumina](centrumlumina.tumblr.com), sent on discord!)
> 
> lactose intolerant ice cream lover RIGHTS
> 
> A big thanks to my friend Vivi ([@trivia-goddess](trivia-goddess.tumblr.com)) for beta reading and just in general being a super good friend!!! i love you!!!

Roman clicked his teeth together several times, considering.

“What’s in that trash bag?”

“What do you think, genius?”

“Oh, that’s cheating!” Roman complained, kicking Remy from his spot on the carpet.

Remy, lounging on the bean bag, just smirked.

“I win!”

“You’re supposed to _add_ to the improv, not just turn it back on me, you lazy asshole-”

“Funny,” said Remy, “ _I_ thought the point was to only ask questions, and you like, instantly lost,”

“I didn’t _lose,_ you _cheated_ ,”

“Sore loser,” Remy said cheerfully.

“You are fucking insufferable,”

“Well, actually, I’m fu-”

“Too much information!” shrieked Roman, kicking him again, “I do _not_ want to know what you and the Pink Flower Ranger get up to, thanks. It’s like hearing about a Disney princess hooking up,”

“Excuse me, _I’m_ hooking up with a Disney princess?” said Remy, “ _Patton Waller._ Blonde curls. Actual magic voice. Lives in fairyland. Also, you are _literally_ dating _a prince,_ sugar, _”_

“ _Yes,_ but we don’t _talk_ about that,”

“Which is hilarious,” said Remy, “Y’all pretending everybody doesn’t _know,_ I mean. It’s the spooky Unseelie elephant in _every_ goddamn room you go in, it’s hysterical,”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Roman blatantly lied.

“Bullshit,” said Remy, “I _literally_ watched Logan pull his fancy magic necklace out from under his shirt the last time Lila invaded your personal bubble, like she wasn’t freaked out enough by him glaring a hole in her head. The girl was traumatized,”

“Yeah, well,” said Roman, shrugging, “If Lila hasn’t taken the hint that she’s not my type by _now_ – seeing as I’m very gay and triple taken _–_ I can’t really help her,”

Remy paused.

“You know what? That’s fair,” he conceded.

He hummed a bit.

“What even would your type be?” he continued a little absently, “I mean, you definitely don’t seem to have one looks-wise. Your boyfriends have got just about the full spectrum of body types between them,”

“My type is perfect _,_ ” said Roman, looking up at the ceiling with a smile that was probably downright soppy, “My type is _heart-stoppingly gorgeous,_ is wonderful and beautiful and so damn pretty-”

“Literally _shut_ up, before I _throw_ up,” Remy laughed, “And I mean it, girl, I’m actually curious now. What criteria are you even using for make-out buddies that would include all three of them and _me?”_

Roman frowned.

“What?”

Remy cocked his head.

“ _What_ what?”

“You?” said Roman incredulously, “What do you mean, you?”

Remy rolled his eyes.

“Look, we’re grown-ups,” said Remy, “And we’re both in happy, committed relationships – we are _not_ doing this,”

“Doing _what?_ ”

Remy waved his hand around.

“This whole ‘pretending I’m not the only person besides your boyfriends you’ve regularly sucked face with’ thing. It’s not a big deal, Gage,”

Roman was laying down – there was really no reason for him to feel like someone had just pulled a rug out from under him.

It wasn’t quite that Roman had _forgotten_ he and Remy used to occasionally make out as truly terrible coping mechanism, but - well, as far as kisses went, Remy’s didn’t even really register on Roman’s emotional Richter scale.

In fact, on the list of people Roman _had_ kissed with any amount of regularity, Remy was firmly in last place when Roman ranked them by the amount of feelings involved.

Positive or negative.

Remy froze.

“Roman?”

“What?” said Roman, a porcelain-perfect smile clicking into place.

Frowning, Remy narrowed his eyes in Roman’s direction.

“… Sugar, are you okay?”

“Of course,” lied Roman, his stomach churning and his smile unwavering, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Remy’s frown deepened, and the silence stretched between them.

“Uh… look,” said Remy, a little quieter, “If you really want me to drop it, I will, but like… I mean, our whole friendship is sorta drama club-based, and like. I know what you look like when you’re acting, Roman,”

Roman laughed. It was a bitter, hollow sound.

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty damn good at it,”

Remy didn’t say anything, just furrowed his brow and started fidgeting with the straw of his drink.

Maybe Remy didn’t know what to say, or maybe he was waiting for Roman to say something, either to change the subject or continue this one, Roman didn’t know. But the solemn quiet of the room just kept getting heavier and heavier, pressing down, and Roman had to fill it somehow.

“You aren’t,” he blurted, a little strangled.

A beat of silence, and-

“I’m not what?” said Remy.

Roman swallowed.

“The only- the only person besides. My partners,”

“Well… yeah, I know,” said Remy, frowning, “I just meant- like on a regular basis-”

“I knew what you meant,” Roman cut him off.

Remy looked confused. Roman opened and closed his mouth a couple times, silent.

“Do you remember,” Roman slowly, “That month, in Junior year, when- when Logan could leave?”

Remy stared at him.

“Yes,” he said, his voice expressionless.

“And then he couldn’t again?”

“You didn’t,” said Remy, quiet and strained.

Roman smiled bitterly.

“Yeah,” he said, “I did. Pretty stupid, right?”

Remy’s jaw flexed, his lips a thin, tense line – Roman was certain he was gritting his teeth behind them.

“I knew I’d fucked up as soon as I’d done it,” said Roman, “Instant- _instant_ regret _._ And then- you know, he… he kissed me, and he pulled his hood back, and I was looking at the fucking Serpent King,”

“Jesus _Christ_ , Roman,” Remy choked.

Laughing a little hysterically, Roman dragged his hands down his face.

“I _know._ I know. And it didn’t even work, obviously,”

Covering his face suddenly, Remy leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

Hesitant, Roman wondered if he ought to reach out, but Remy just took a shuddering breath and scrubbed his face, letting his hands fall.

“So- were you-?”

Remy’s face was contorted with something Roman couldn’t identify, like every word was a struggle.

“Were you- did he take you away?” Remy continued, “Like- I guess like Emmy Trout but backwards? I never- I never noticed you missing, I feel like I… like I would have,”

Roman scoffed.

“No. Maybe- I don’t know, maybe that would have been easier. Simpler, definitely…”

He trailed off, and Remy gestured for him to continue. Roman’s hands were shaking, and he folded them on his stomach, tense.

“I spent nights in fairyland,” he said quietly, “Day, here. I’d forget the night, the moment dawn came. Then I’d close my eyes in the evening and remember everything again and… walk off into the woods. Nearly every night,”

“What the _fuck_ , Roman,”

Roman couldn’t help the flinch.

“I’m not mad,” said Remy instantly, “Well- Okay, no, I’m actually- not sure if I’ve ever been so pissed in my entire fucking life, but- I’m not mad at you,”

“Oh,” said Roman, his voice small.

“I mean,” said Remy, rubbing his face again, “Any- any fae would have been bad enough, but- the _Serpent King?_ ”

 _You have no idea,_ Roman thought to himself.

Leaning back again, Remy stared at the ceiling. He looked almost stunned, disbelieving, for several seconds before something cold froze his expression.

“So- when you said I wasn’t the only one-”

“Yeah,” Roman cut him off, unsure of what his reaction would be if Remy actually put it to words but certain it would _not_ be pretty.

Remy twitched. He raised his hands awkwardly, like he was going to gesture but didn’t quite know how, and then let them fall back in his lap. He bit the inside of his cheek, and still, he didn’t say anything, and Roman’s stomach was rolling and rolling-

“Well?” said Roman, injecting his voice with at much false lightness as he could manage, “Not like you to pass up an opportunity to call me a dumbass, Adams,”

“Don’t,” said Remy, strangled, “Don’t- don’t do that, Roman,”

“I don’t know what you’re talking-”

“ _That,_ ” said Remy, “Pretending you’re not freaking the fuck out right now when I _know_ you are because _I_ am, and it’s not even my- my trauma-”

“Don’t call it _that,_ ” Roman choked, because that was a _very big word,_ and Roman had not the _faintest_ clue how to deal with a word that big and oh _fuck_ was he losing what tentative grip on his calm he had _very quickly_ -

The soft, rapid _thumpthumpthump_ of tiny feet running came from the hall, and Roman turned on his side and opened his arms the exact moment Dizzy sprinted through the half-open door, bumping her shoulder against it with a loud _thunk_ before curling up against his chest and pressing her purring body to his throat.

He heard Remy move, and Dizzy’s purr stuttered just long enough to turn her head and spit a vicious hiss in his direction.

“Oh my god, calm down,” said Roman, ignoring the panicked wobbling of his own voice, “It’s Remy, Dizzy-cat, don’t be mean,”

“What did he do?” she demanded.

“He didn’t do anything!”

“Am I gonna wind up with cat-scratch fever if I come over there? Because your furry friend looks like she wants to gut me like a mouse,”

“Don’t fucking test me,” Dizzy muttered uselessly, because it wasn’t like Remy could hear her.

“She won’t scratch you,” said Roman, giving her a pointed look.

Remy shuffled across the floor, and Roman sat up. Both of them put their backs to Roman’s bed, and Roman pressed his face into Dizzy’s fur, breathing deeply.

“… We don’t… really do this,” said Remy quietly.

“Yeah, I know,” said Roman wetly, “Sorry,”

“That’s not what I meant,” said Remy exasperated, “I just… I don’t wanna fuck it up. I don’t know what to say,”

He took a hitching breath.

“But- you know, we’re doing it now, I guess, so- sink or swim, right?”

Roman snorted.

“So, I…”

Dizzy shifted, pressing her face to Roman’s cheek, and they both waited for Remy to speak.

“You gotta know you’re my best friend, right?” said Remy, and he almost sounded like Logan did when he was not-quite-lying. Like he was speaking around a physical obstruction.

“ _What?_ ” said Roman, stunned.

“Oh my god, don’t make a big deal out of it!” said Remy, waving his hands wildly, “Just- be chill, we’re being chill, but- it’s. It’s really important to me that you know that. And that- you can talk to me. About this stuff,”

He managed a wry, awkward smile in Roman’s direction.

“Even though- you know, obviously, I’m not exactly acing this, but I’ll like, listen, or whatever. Buy you pints of ice cream. Get you drunk so you can word vomit on me without feeling weird about it, I don’t know. Dig up the fucking Serpent King and kill him again,”

Roman let out a laugh that was half sob, and then a second, thicker note, and then he just started crying.

“Oh, hell, okay, I- can I like, hug you? Are we hugging friends now?”

“You are so fucking bad at this,” Roman giggled through his tears.

“No shit,” said Remy, flat as cardboard.

“No, wait,” said Roman, still caught between tears and laughter, “I didn’t mean that. You’re not- you _are_ helping, Remy, believe it or not,”

Because he was. Remy was miles, _leagues,_ out of his depth, clearly, and here he was anyway – stubbornly refusing to do anything other than try to be Roman’s friend when Roman was blatantly falling apart. His _best_ friend, apparently, and as soon as Roman stopped feeling all soft and fuzzy about it – and also stopped crying – he was definitely going to make fun of Remy for it.

Remy relaxed, almost imperceptibly.

“And you can hug me,” Roman continued, “I guess we’re hugging friends now, even though that’s totally not a real term,”

Remy didn’t rise to the bait, just hooked his arm around Roman’s shoulders and tugged, pulling Roman against his chest in something that less resembled a hug and more a wrestling hold. Dizzy made a disgruntled noise in Roman’s arms.

“Hush up, babe, we’re bonding,” Remy scolded her.

“ _Hush up?”_ said Dizzy, her voice overlapping with an irate yowl.

“Yes, _bonding_ ,” said Remy, misinterpreting the noise, “We’re gonna hug it out like real men – and, uh, real cat – and then we’re gonna eat our weight in ice cream and hug some more,”

“We don’t have any ice cream,” Roman laughed, wiping his eyes petulantly on Remy’s shirt.

“I’m _buying_ you ice cream,” said Remy, “I’m buying you a metric shit-ton of ice cream. Don’t argue, I am _not_ giving you a choice here,”

“I’m lactose intolerant,”

“Like that has ever fucking stopped you,”

Snickering, Roman pulled his sleeve down over his hand to dab at his face. Remy rocked them a little, patting the side of Roman’s head solemnly.

“It had better be butter pecan,” Roman joked.

“Roman,” said Remy thickly, and Roman could have sworn he felt something drip into his hair, “I am gonna get you as much butter pecan ice cream as you want,”

And if the next time he invited Remy over he showed up with two pints of butter pecan ice cream (the fucking _Lactaid_ brand) and Roman didn’t even bother mocking him before tackling him right there in the doorway?

Well – they were _hugging friends_ now, weren’t they?

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me over on [tumblr!](tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors.tumblr.com)


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